If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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