last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
