i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Randomize
