I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
