If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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