It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
