I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
