why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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