Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
