Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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