My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
