Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
