I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
