We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
