I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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