did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
