I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Randomize
