On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
