u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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