She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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