I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
