Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She bit a glass in half.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
