Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
