im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i want to swaddle you in tequila
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
