just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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