you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
