Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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