did you get engaged???
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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