I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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