No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
