Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
