how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Congratulations! We have a period
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
