I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
