what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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