i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
A+ Viking dick
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