Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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