I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
