The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
