Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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