why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
