i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
