I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
