I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I should be sponsored by Trojan
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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