My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize