I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
