epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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