I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
