I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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