I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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