i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
