If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Randomize
